Experiencing any kind of loss, including sight loss, can rock your experience of what is safe in the world and leave you with anxiety and hypervigilance for all the things that could happen in the future.
It’s understandable, when you think about it. The thought process might go something like:
‘I know bad things happen.’
‘Bad things happen to me.’
And, consciously or otherwise, you might also think,
‘If I am on my guard, it won’t happen,’ or,
‘If I’m ready for it, it might not hurt as much.’
This is a psychological phenomenon known as contrast-avoidance, really common in grief and after trauma, and it’s a protective mechanism your brain employs to try to keep you safe from pain. The idea is that if you maintain a low-level state of worry and negative thoughts all the time, you avoid the sharp emotional shifts that occur when something goes wrong.
Of course, what this means in practice is that you don’t fully allow yourself to experience the ‘highs’ of the good days, either, and you live with a level of stress that we know can be harmful not just psychologically but to your physical health, too.
So what’s the answer to banishing the worry gremlins? During a recent EyeMatter zoom meeting, we discussed how important it is to acknowledge the fears instead of avoiding them, and then to interrogate: how much of this can I really control? If you can focus your attention on the bits that are actually within your influence, rather than the plethora of stuff that isn’t, it can help you feel more proactive and find a more balanced, realistic way of looking at the situation. Other key actions people spoke about were developing a sense of living for the present, focusing on the positives, and practical activities such as getting out in nature and taking regular exercise, where possible.
The hard truth is that worrying about all the things that could go wrong won’t make your life any more predictable. It will only keep you from enjoying the good things you are still able to experience in the present.
In our next zoom, we delved into one of those ways of enjoying the good things, and discussed all things creative. Research proves that engaging in creativity in all its forms is good for your mental health and overall wellbeing, reduces stress (and therefore inflammation); people who engage regularly in therapeutic journalling have even been shown to visit their GP less frequently!
Of course, there is a wide range of activities that can be considered creative, as demonstrated by our wonderful (and talented) EyeMatter participants. Members shared the benefits they gain from a range of pursuits including knitting, cooking, and singing, as well as writing and creating art. There is the opportunity for self-expression, a sense of satisfaction to be gained from bringing something into the world that didn’t exist before, and for some people, a chance to forge new friendships through creative communities.
For anyone who might like to try writing, perhaps with a therapeutic angle, I recommend the ‘six-word stories’ exercise. It’s exactly as it sounds: you try to write a whole story in six words. A great exercise for the brain! If it helps, use a theme; some of my favourites are:
I remember… (this one is great as it already gives you two of your six words!)
Write about something that gives you hope
Write about something that makes you anxious
Write about someone you love
Write about something you’re worried about
Write about a place that means something to you
It’s surprisingly easy and satisfying once you get on a roll. Within the group, everyone managed a six-word story even though they were put on the spot!
Why not give it a go?
Take care doing whatever your good thing is, until next time. JW