All of us carry a set of beliefs, about ourselves and the world around us. These may or may not include religious or spiritual faith, as well as general values and principles, self-image, and the level of trust and confidence we have in others. Beliefs are typically formed from an early age, influenced by our caregivers and later, our peers, as well as external factors such as media and the experiences we have in society.
When a person experiences a significant loss or a trauma, some or all of their beliefs may be thrown into question. Faced with difficult emotions like anger and despair, some people start to question a long-held faith or philosophy, or even find that they feel differently about themselves. Within your experience of sight loss, you may recognise some of these shifts in belief. On the other hand, you may find that having strong beliefs has been what has helped you.
In our recent fortnightly zoom meeting, lots of Eyematter members shared how their faith had served as an anchor for them through the most difficult times. It was also heartening to hear from some participants that since their sight loss, their faith in people has improved or been restored, because they have met so many people who really want to help. In addition, the life-changing experience of sight loss has in some cases come with an ability to let go of unhelpful maxims that follow us around and are sometimes accepted as truth, such as ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’. This is just not true! It’s a phrase that implies that if you’re struggling through a hard experience, such as having to re-learn how to do everything, somehow you shouldn’t be – and if you are struggling, you must be weak. What nonsense! It just goes to show, though, how we absorb beliefs from the world around us, and don’t always question whether they actually serve us.
The same goes for people around us, of course, who are sadly not always positive influences. Sometimes living with a disability unfortunately means meeting the barrier of other people’s unhelpful beliefs, maybe in the form of low expectations or outright prejudice. This is why it is so important to pay close attention to your beliefs about yourself, and make sure you are cultivating positive and empowering self-talk.
The things you believe about yourself have a tangible impact on how you feel every day. In our meeting we discussed the importance of celebrating and prizing the small wins. Maybe your belief about what constitutes a win has had to be adjusted, and that’s okay. Be proud of everything you achieve.
It’s fine to re-assess and forge a new belief system, if the old one no longer works for you. Let your belief system be based on self-appreciation, the value of true friendship, and whatever faith brings you comfort.
Look after yourselves, JW